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The Benevolent Pimp by jmgnole

About this shop

Stuff that no one should sell, but someone simply has to. I'm that person.

Owned by jmgnole

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Designs 13-20 of 20
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better. - This is for an old friend, someone who loves wine more than sex. Well, maybe not that much since she has had babies. We've all been sidetracked by...
This is for an old friend, someone who loves wine more than sex. Well, maybe not that much since she has had babies. We've all been sidetracked by...
I have a feeling tonight will end in rehab. - Some nights are bound to end up involving either jail or rehab or the drunk tank, or all of the above. The number of bars you hit are usually...
Some nights are bound to end up involving either jail or rehab or the drunk tank, or all of the above. The number of bars you hit are usually...
Thank God random hookups don't end with college. - You can be well out of college and experience the joys of a random hookup. Just don't do it with family.
You can be well out of college and experience the joys of a random hookup. Just don't do it with family.
it's like sucking your thumb only it's not yours, and it's a penis. - This one was simply too funny to not use. Quite inappropriate, and totally wrong, but it made me laugh out loud.
This one was simply too funny to not use. Quite inappropriate, and totally wrong, but it made me laugh out loud.
I'm drinking this country out of the recession. - One beer, one bottle of wine, one shot or shooter or navel shot or cocktail at a time. I'm doing my part to get this country back on track. ...
One beer, one bottle of wine, one shot or shooter or navel shot or cocktail at a time. I'm doing my part to get this country back on track. ...
But, I don't consider them to be one night stands. They're auditions. - Not every hook up is that simple. Sometimes they're auditions or tryouts, so make sure that you're at your best, unless YOU'RE the one...
Not every hook up is that simple. Sometimes they're auditions or tryouts, so make sure that you're at your best, unless YOU'RE the one...
My boyfriend and my dignity are both out of town tonight. - This is for the young lady who has a boyfriend, but he's not THE boyfriend, so she's still looking around. When the dick's away, the kitty cat's in...
This is for the young lady who has a boyfriend, but he's not THE boyfriend, so she's still looking around. When the dick's away, the kitty cat's in...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. Go figure. - Ladies, if you recognize this feeling, you're not alone. Sadly, most hook ups last about that long. Picking up drunk guys is a crap shoot. Just...
Ladies, if you recognize this feeling, you're not alone. Sadly, most hook ups last about that long. Picking up drunk guys is a crap shoot. Just...
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Designs 13-20 of 20