Santa Claus is wondering why you're waiting at the window for him to put toys under your tree? He's curious why you even dragged that filthy tree in the house, then hung balls from it? But, he's mostly concerned that you're hanging your ugly socks out in hopes that he'll put trinkets inside. He hopes you know that makes you look crazy. He thinks maybe it's just the eggnog, but he said if he sees you on the roof again with those tiny lightbulbs, or if you try to sit on him and ask for shit - he's calling the police!